Life and Learning: "Jose"

"Jose" (name changed for privacy) was a wonderful student all of first semester. He was helpful - he would make sure that when it was his turn to clean the tables, they were done perfectly. And he wanted my assurance for that. He would ask me if his cleaning was better than the "other students who just didn't care." I would assure him that his cleaning was wonderful and I appreciated so much his caring. But I noticed that little by little he would compare his ceramic work to other students' ceramic work. He would say, "I suck at ceramics! Look how hers is so much better!" I assured him that he did some great work and shouldn't be comparing himself all the time to others. What mattered was that he was trying his best.
Then, in spring semester, things suddenly changed to be much worse. A friend of his whom he walked to school with every day was in a different period of mine. He started asking compulsively if his friend's work was better that day, if his friend was "good" that day, if his friend was cleaning up after himself that day, etc.... And he would say that his friend was so bad. That I didn't realize how bad his friend was. He spoke about his friends, "Evil smile" as he put it, constantly.
I finally had to put an end to it. I told him, "That's it. You are not allowed to talk about your friend in this class anymore. He's not here to defend himself and I care about you when you are in my class. I don't want to talk about him unless he's in my class!" "Jose's" negative talk about himself also had to stop. I told him, "Jose" I want you and I to talk positively about things and life." It's important because the more that you focus on the positive, the more that you will see positive things in life. And I want you to have a positive, happy life.
At first this worked very well. We had some great conversations. It was a joy talking to him.
However, I did notice that he was alienating the people around him. The girl across from him had an unusual name which I mispronounced at first. "Jose" decided that it was funny to purposefully mispronounce her name loudly and repetitively day after day. The young woman asked to have her seat changed. I told her that they should talk about it. I talked privately to "Jose" about it annoying the young woman that he was purposely saying her name wrong. Jose said that I was being too sensitive.
Then, on a Monday, things changed for the worse. He put his head down the whole period. He wouldn't talk to me or anyone.
I was very worried. I asked to speak to him after class. I asked him what was wrong. He told me that he decided that he is going to fail all of his classes and he is not going to graduate. I asked him why. He said that all of his teachers hate him and that I prefer the people on the other side of the classroom. I assured him that I absolutely did not prefer those people. They constantly are raising their hands asking for my help so I do spend more time over there. "Jose's" side of the class doesn't ask for help as much but I always come over as soon as I know they need help. He told me that he didn't believe me. I told him that people love him at home like his mom and she will be so proud of him when he graduates. He responded that his mom doesn't really love him either. He said that no one really loves him. Everyone just pretends in life. I assured him that there are plenty of good people in the world. He disagreed.
The next class was the same. I called his mom to see if anything had happened at home. She told me that she noticed this sudden change in him but wasn't sure what to do. I wote an email to his counselor. The counselor spoke to him and told me that he says that everyone's against him and he has given up.
After a couple more emails, she told me that she was done trying. "He was going to do what he was going to do," she said.
I went to every single person on his side of the classroom. I asked each student if he/she felt that I didn't give him/her enough attention. I asked each student if he/she felt comfortable asking for help. All of those students said that they felt comfortable asking for help, felt that I valued them, and that I gave them enough attention.
"Jose" kept on refusing to do any work in class and he told me that he was like this in all of his classes so I shouldn't take it personally. My heart was heavy even now as I think about it but I called up the dean and spoke to him about "Jose." The dean agreed to talk to him.
I sent him down to the dean as "Jose" told me, "It's not going to make any difference. I am going to fail all of my classes."
"Jose" returned about half hour later. He sat in his seat, his face as red as it could possibly be! He looked as if he might explode! I was incredibly concerned.
The bell rang and "Jose" came up to me and said, "I want to apologize for my behavior in your classroom. The dean gave me detention and I am going to use this time to think about my life," he said. I told "Jose" how relieved I was that he was making this change for his bright future.
The next week got slowly better with him working now but still negative and pretty silent to all but one guy once in awhile sitting next to him.
As his last project, he made the bowl that is shown here. It says, "One VS All on a blue flag," and "Rise above Hate" around the bowl. I told him that I like that he is choosing to rise above hate. He told me that all people are hateful so you need to go against them. I told him that's not true but he ignored me.
I made the red ceramic heart representing that love conquers all and put the note with it inside the bowl. I am hoping that in using phrases in this note that all of us may have heard at one point or another, he may hear those phrases in the future, and it will bring him back to this moment.
On that last day of school, he came to pick up his bowl that was now completed from going into the kiln. I saw him read the note. He held the ceramic heart with the note and his bowl for the rest of the hour and a half class and then left with them firmly in his hands.
I saw his friend after graduation and he said that "Jose" looked happy as he graduated, and I certainly hope that I hear from him again!
Here's that last project and what I wrote after lots of contemplation!

Success Story: "Leon"

"Leon" (name changed for privacy) became a new student for me in the spring semester of 2016. He was entered into my classroom about 2 weeks after the semester started. I don't get many students who change into my classroom the second semester because counselor's try to respect that my students have learned much by then and it's difficult for a student to catch up when other students have been there already 1 semester.
In that first minute that he arrived in the door, I sensed that it would be very important to get to know "Leon" and talk to him about his goals for the future. I walked up to him and asked him what happened to his hand and arm that was all wrapped up. He had obviously been in the hospital very recently. He said, "Well, I got really mad and I punched in a window!" I responded something like, "You seem like a smart guy. I bet you'll learn from that mistake and never do that again!" He agreed. I told him about the time my dad punched in a wall. I told him that he didn't do that again because instead of 10 stitches, my dad bruised his hand terribly and was in a lot of pain too. He laughed.
For the next couple of weeks "Leon" was so social that it was sometimes a disruption. So, I had a couple of attractive people help him as he worked with a plastic glove which helped to calm him down so that other people could more easily focus on their work.
I asked "Leon" what career he wanted to go into. He told me that he wanted to become a rap artist and he didn't need to graduate for that. I advised him that he would feel better about himself if he graduated and it would make him smarter so that when people tried to take advantage of him when he was making money being a rapper, he would be able to figure out the issues and deal with it. He agreed that it might be a good idea. I advised him that "How we do anything is how we do everything." The more that we put effort into things, the more that we train ourselves to be better in every way.
I asked where "Leon" was rapping and if he had a CD of his work because I wanted to hear it. He told me that he had never rapped publicly. He said that he would wait until he was done with school to try anything. I told him that the quicker he started, the quicker he would become successful. From then on I asked him every week if he had work ready to record. I would ask him if he worked on lyrics during the weekend. He would thank me for my support and little by little things got done until he happily said that he was finished writing his first song.

Right after Spring Break he burst in the door exclaiming joyfully that his uncle knew someone who recorded his rap song during the break! I was very excited for him! I asked him if I could listen to it. He wouldn't let me listen because he said that he would be too embarassed to have me as his teacher hear the words to his song. I told him that I could understand that.
In the weeks that followed, "Leon" held his head higher, and put 10 times the effort and focus that he had previously put into his ceramic work. From this change of heart, I knew that some of that effort and focus would flow into his classes. Before this time, "Leon" was completely flunking his English class along with some other classes. But now in these last 2 months he was giving it all he had. The English teacher was kind. He asked me if it was possible for "Leon" to retake tests that he had failed during my classtime so he might have the possibility of passing his class and graduating. I happily agreed.
"Leon" would very seriously check in with me, and I would tell him to go pass that test! You can do it!
A week before graduation, "Leon" came up to me at the beginning of class with complete shock and maybe a little fear on his face and told me that he was now passing all of his classes and said "I'm going to graduate." I was overwhelmed with joy for him! I told him that I knew that he could do it and he is now on to bigger and better things!
"Leon" did graduate in June 2016 with his friends and family around him. I hope that someday he'll come back to say "Hello" and have good news to tell me.

Here is a photo of my favorite of "Leon's" creative work. This is his "Unusual Creature."